Egyptian, Babe or Ozark Ike?

We need you Country, White Wings,

Splinter and Death to Flying Things!

Motor Mouth, Rip, The Count, Big Klu,

The Mad Hungarian and Cy are gone too.

No more Springfield Rifle, Kentucky Rosebud,

Or Dizzy, to whom a baserunner 'slud'.

Each had more chutspah than Selig the Bud,

his heirs, or their heirs, COMBINED.

 
The Rube took his hankerchief out late one night,

dislodging his gun which went off, causing fright.

Tabasco to a waiter did make known his wishes;

Kid got his attention by breaking some dishes.

Case stuck dead thumbs in pockets of naive souls,

While Gene Krapp 'squeezed out of a very tight hole'.

Shuffling Phil Douglas thought nothing beat a drink,

except the whole bottle.

 
Cross eyed Steamboat Johnson lost big league ambition,

dodging 'popbottles thrown due to lousy decisions'.

A small Brooklyn fan fought George Magerkurth;

whipped him in mid game despite Mage's girth. 

"Lord Bill" Byron crafted phrases bit by bit;

was famous for penning these two monster hits:

You'll just have to learn before you're much older,

you can't hit the ball with the bat on your shoulder,"

and, "Stick the bat up your ass if you can't show us class."

In today's news we hear of contraction,

talk of a strike threatens more inaction.

Wish Sea Lion Hall faced The Earl of Snohomish

and we'd get to take turns jumping o'er the commish

in a steamroller.