Ron Blomberg played just 7 years in the majors. Although he hit .293 lifetime, including back to back years of .329 and .311, he never had a hundred hits in a season. Never got over 300 at bats in 162 games either. In 'grey', 'black' and HOF indicators his career pitched a perfect game - zero, zero, zero. Blooms was slower than your great grandma with a walker, and after much study the most apt description of his glovework is to say he made Bill Buckner look like Mark Grace.

The Atlanta native also belongs in the Hall of Fame.

Not the one in Cooperstown, nor a designated hitters hall, though he was the very first of that American League breed. Not even the bad hands hall. Besides - no one could keep his plaque from falling off the wall.

The eaters' Hall of Fame.

To state Blomberg could deep six groceries is similar to saying Mark McGwire hit a few long balls or Pamela Anderson has a decent chest. This gargantuan appetite was the stuff of Bunyanesque legends; so much so that one was amazed to see him listed at only 6'1, 205. Must have been his dimensions at birth.

Though in his half year Blooms finished close to the 1970 Carolina League homer lead, Ron's talents at the table were what held baseball men, fans and English majors in monosyllabic awe. Kinston had a fast food joint, Ray's Kingburger, whose business was so bad they put an ad in The Daily Free Press every Wednesday for a free burger. Any minor leaguer's eyes would light up at this chance to stretch a meager paycheck, but for Ron it was the kind of love against which preachers sermonize. One day he walked in with THIRTY-SIX coupons, exited with 2 bulging bags, and lest it be said Blomberg was insensitive to the emotional needs of sandwiches away from home for the first time, he threw them a party in his stomach.

Kenansville's big landmark was a swank steakhouse, The Country Squire, whose menu featured a Godzillian 52 ounce steak for about 40 bucks. What attracted olympian appetites far and wide was if one ate it all in a single sitting (absenting seat after addressing finished product was forbidden), it was on the house. Showing he was a true 'gamer', 3 were inhaled in successive visits before Ron was permanently barred.

Blomberg was called up to double-A Manchester immediately after an off day. Ron being on a fishing trip, so it fell to the GM had to play Jungle Jim and herald, then cart him back to civilization to pack. On the way to Kinston, Ron (who hadn't eaten for at least 6 hours and must have shrunken within 15 pounds of his program weight) got the GM to stop at a dinky country store to remedy his hunger. Bloomy left  with an extra long loaf of bread and ate it all in the car.

Then he had breakfast.

Good thing Ron wasn't Moses. He might've eaten the Ten Commandments.

Dan Taylor

Copyright ©2002 Daniel Grey Taylor