Whenever heat opresses, and sodgers gather round their pegs,

Hunkered over bartops with railings supporting legs,

Wherever Queensmen congregate to talk when day is done,

Of aches and pains and blisters, of great battles lost and won;

To sing the songs of comrades, or to vent their spleens and rave,

Their talk will turn eventually to deeds of Gunga Dave.

O Gunga Dave! O Gunga Dave! O mighty Gunga Dave!

Most accomodating dharti in the army or the nav'!

That sleek dark one who knew his place,

Who served with style, who served with grace;

You seem singularly eager Gunga Dave.

Gunga Dave followed his reg'ment o'er forgotten dune and dale,

Minist'ring to special needs on each forsaken trail.

If foot troopers were thirsty (throats parched so they could not think),

He'd run 'longside with goatskin and then bid them all to drink.

At night when orf'cers and noncoms profanely fought 'alone',

'Twas then that Gunga Dave's true talents really became known.

O Gunga Dave! O Gunga Dave! Sensitive Gunga Dave!

Most accomodating dharti in the army or the nav'!

That dark one stayed where he was placed,

And walked with grace leathered or laced;

You look comf'table in earrings Gunga Dave.

As leaders hurled their darkest oaths (no women made them wroth),

Gunga Dave would prance in, wearing turban and loincloth.

One hundred hundred 'sitions soldiers say he could achieve,

Each in the line of duty pleading, "Drill me, mem' Sahib!"

Now let us draw a veil on Gunga Dave's nocturnal fun;

Certain Queensmen were appellated for more reasons than one.

O Gunga Dave! O Gunga Dave! Light loafered Gunga Dave,

With the biggest 'eel collection in the army or the nav'!

Regaled in east, west, north, and south;

Hailed H.M.'s most lovely mouth.

You belong in San Francisco Gunga Dave.

Dan Taylor